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"Israel has sinned; they have violated my covenant, which I�commanded them to keep. They have taken some of the devoted things; they have stolen, they have lied, they have put them with their own possessions. That is why the Israelites cannot stand against their enemies; they turn their backs and run because they have been made liable to destruction." Joshua 7:11-12

Reading through the book of Joshua, the chapter on Achanapos;s Sin spoke to me. The Lordapos;s anger burned against the Israelites, for they failed to obey such a blatant commandment given by the Lord. (Joshua 6:18-19 "But keep away from the devoted things, so that you will not bring about your own destruction by taking any of them. Otherwise you will make the camp of Israel liable to destruction and bring trouble on it. All the silver and gold and the articles of bronze and iron are sacred to the Lord and must go into his treasury.")

The warning was given, the commandment was made clear, that the people were to "keep away from the devoted things". Yet, when the time came fro the people to put the articles of bronze and iron into the treasury of the Lordapos;s house, greed set in. Achan, in his defense, admitted that (v.21), "When I saw in the plunder a beautiful robe from Babylonia, two hundred shekels of silver and a wedge of gold weighing fifty shekels, I coveted them and took them."

The items were of great value, I imagine Achan thinking that it was a waste to leave them with a God, a God that wasnapos;t tangible. I believe there�Achan experienced a�lapse of faith� then, when�he took the goods. But Godapos;s commandment was clear, and these commandments given are not meant to be broken. God made commandments so that we can obey them, no matter how unclear the situation, no matter how it makes no sense in the human understanding.

Likewise, many times we donapos;t know where God leads us, but we are called to obey. We know not where obedience leads us to in the near future, but we know that we still press on, through the darkness, and trust that in His time, God will choose to reveal to us His plans for us. And when that time comes, all this suffering will be worth it, every single bit, because the future holds so much sweet milk and honey, because God has so much more to offer us than what this world can give.

If we fail to obey, we bear the consequences. In the case of the Israelites, they lost a battle which they expected to win. The Lord clearly said, that Israel had made themselves liable to destruction. God is with us always, but when we stray away or succumb to our own sinful desires, we are made liable to destruction, and God, in His nature to be fair and just, will discipline us.

But take heart, because each time we fail, we learn, and the Lord teaches us to be more like Him.

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I donapos;t update nearly enough on anything.

I use my phone for everything anymore, so sometimes its pretty damn hard.
=[

We borrowed my aunts clearwire box for today, so my mom could have internet.
Iapos;m going to see mest and quietdrive tonight at El Corazon in seattle. =]
Pretty stoked

Lets see what else...
Ohyeah, I moved to Yakima.. Fun... =/ Eh, so not so much but whatever.
Helping run the jade room (concert venue) , and working alot.
My mom is hella bomb though and gave me the master bedroom in our new apartment thats like 3xapos;s the size of her room. =]
I love her to death.


Anyways, Iapos;m pretty certian thatapos;s all i really have right now. =]

Since i�missed chiodos on saturday, due to the fact that i�had no ride... Stupid cars breaking down.. Fuck

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Ik heb een hekel aan pinautomaten. Ik twijfel altijd: Zal ik het doen, zal ik het niet doen? Maar ik ga er altijd heen, want dan heb ik geld nodig. Zonder geld kan ik niets, dus ik zal af en toe wel naar de pinautomaat moeten. Dat is nog een heel gedoe, zelfs als de pinautomaat niet kapot is, of geen geld meer heeft.

Laatst ging ik naar de pinautomaat op de hoek van onze straat. Nadat ik eindelijk doorhad hoe ik mijn pasje erin moest doen, vroeg het apparaat mij hoeveel geld ik wilde opnemen. Ik keek naar de twintig euro, maar er zat geen knopje naast. Per ongeluk drukte ik op het knopje van de honderd euro en een halve minuut later was ik in bezit van twee briefjes van vijftig. Die ik op dat moment helemaal niet nodig had.

Gisteren ging ik naar dezelfde pinautomaat. Ik doe mijn pasje erin en bedenk me hoeveel geld ik ongeveer nodig heb. Als ik een knopje in wil drukken, zie ik tot mijn grote verbazing dat er helemaal geen knopjes meer zijn Paniek, want hoe krijg ik dan geld? Nadat ik beter had gekeken, bleek dat het een andere pinautomaat was. Op dezelfde plek, dat wel, maar een andere pinautomaat. Voorzichtig druk ik op het beeldscherm. De pinautomaat bliept en geeft mijn pasje terug. Drie seconden later spuugt hij een briefje van twintig uit. Ik vind het een overwinning en ben blij. Als ik weg wil lopen, komt er ineens iets op het scherm. Ik lees 'transactiebon' en ik kijk het ding vol afschuw aan. Vlak daarna verdwijnt de boodschap, voordat ik ook maar heb kunnen drukken. Waarom doen pinautomaten altijd zo moeilijk? Stomme dingen.

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Donapos;t have anything in particular to update about but because Iapos;m bored, Iapos;m gonna anyway.

Sisterapos;s boyfriend has been visiting since yesterday. Theyapos;ve pretty much been holed up in her room the whole time (no surprise there), except for when dad decided to give him the third degree yesterday. Needless to say, dad was piss drunk at the time. Poor guy.

Today Iapos;ve pretty much just hung online and played DDR. Only like three hours for the latter though, donapos;t wanna kill my legs again.

Iapos;m waiting for the eviction show to start on Big Brother Finland. I havenapos;t paid much attention to the show lately considering how boring it has gotten, but today Iapos;ll drag my bones in front of the telly. Mainly because there will be a housemate swap between Finland and another countryapos;s Big Brother house, presumably Africaapos;s (and yes, Iapos;m aware that Africa is a continent, not a country, but thatapos;s the only continent wide BB house that I know of.) In any case, things are bound to be a lot more interesting on that front this week.

I donapos;t have work tomorrow before 2pm so I can stay up late tonight (Iapos;m an old hag, I need a full nightapos;s sleep to properly function.) Might end up reading something for a change. Havenapos;t had much time or energy for that lately.

Oh by the way, momapos;s been laughing at me a lot less for playing Guitar Hero after she heard that her 55-year-old boss is hooked on the game and is planning on getting them the whole set for work. Mwahah, take that. I hope heapos;ll force mum to try it out, too. Thatapos;s something Iapos;d really like to see.

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Another realization.�

I am what is considered "dumb".� Not in the sense that I donapos;t know anything or am incapable of learning.� I simply donapos;t use my brain and my intelligence as I should.� I donapos;t think very many things through.� I just "do".� I donapos;t rehearse very many things in my�memory and hence I donapos;t remember as much as I could.� I donapos;t give my full attention to things.� I am usually distracted by whatever else is happening in my environment.� These traits combined dull my senses and intelligence.� Maybe that�makes up�a good majority of that "numbness" I dislike so much.�

Without concious thought what is a Human? Simply another animal in the herd.� Meant to graze, be herded around and then reproduce.�
Maybe intelligent people know this about us animals and thus figure out ways to exploit our primitive nature.� Greed.� The greedy should be exiled.�

People must come to understand what is to be Human.� How gracious it is that we have been blessed with an innate intelligence that far surpasses anything that we currently know of.� Yet we squander it away.�

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I went to Starbucks this morning (my usual Friday morning treat). I was chatting with happy barista guy, and he asked how my morning was going, and the conversation went something like this:

Happy Barista Guy: "And howapos;s your morning going so far?"

Me: "Iapos;m not awake yet. Thatapos;s why Iapos;m here."

HBG: "Well, good news We have equipment here that can solve your problem."

Me: "Yes, you guys provide an incredibly valuable service."

HBG: "Weapos;re givers, really."

Me: "Itapos;s sorta like apos;what did we do before computers?apos; Ya know, what DID we do before Starbucks?"

HBG: "Oh I know When I was in high school, Iapos;d always go to this coffee stand across the street from my house."

Me: Saying nothing. Starting to cringe. You know how you walk around feeling like youapos;re really not that old until someone else gives a high school reference?

HBG: "Of course, that was in the Starbucks era."

Me: "I donapos;t want to talk to you anymore."

HBG: laughing "And then after I graduated high school, I did hang out in Starbucks a lot."

Me: "You canapos;t relate. This conversation is officially over."

HBG: laughing (with me? at me?) "And here is your specially made, delicious chai tea latte"

Me: "Okay fine, have a good day."

Good thing itapos;s Friday, or I might need to go on medication or something.
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Iapos;ve been sick the past two weeks or so. Its a chest cold, a cough that wonapos;t go away. Everything I think Iapos;m getting better, it comes back the next day. I still have no insurance, so I havenapos;t seen the doctor. If I donapos;t feel better tomorrow Iapos;ll have to bit the bullet and make an appointment anyway.

So here I am, six months after graduating with my MBA, and still no job. Iapos;ve tried everything I can think of given limited resources. Iapos;ve been putting in application in Syracuse almost every day, Iapos;ve tried job placement agencies too. I have a phone interview tomorrow, the first interview Iapos;ve managed to get in a month.

Iapos;ve also been keeping an eye out on the local and state civil service jobs, although state jobs would likely require me to go to Albany. At this point Iapos;m willing to do it, given the lack of prospects here. Iapos;ve been sporadically applying in the surrounding cities as well, including NYC. Lack of transportation or money makes things more difficult.

Iapos;m not sure what else to do, and itapos;d damn depressing to keep sending in resumes and applications, and get either rejection letters or silence back. I know I have to keep trying, but it feels like Iapos;ve applied to every company in Syracuse by now.

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Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to Ten Different People Right Now:
1. I donapos;t love you.
2. Your the best friend one could ask for.
3. I am glad you are feeling better these days.
4. Thanks for picking up your phone today, sometimes just hearing your voice and encouragement keeps my spirits up.
5. I wish I could hug you right now.
6. We wonapos;t fail.
7. You make me want to go home and party all the time.
8. Things will get better with time. Your strong.
9. Im sorry.
10. I love you

Nine Things About Myself:
1. I love boat rides.
2. My favorite author is Chuck Palahniuk
3. I used to be a film major.
4. Now I am an advertising major.
5. I am in love with the Chicago White Sox.
6. I do not think I could ever live long term in a place other than Chicago.
7. I fake my happiness once in a while.
8. I suck at cooking.
9. I love water more than any other beverage.

Eight Ways to Win My Heart:
1. Cook for me.
2. White sox fan.
3. Be able to joke around and laugh at me and yourself
4. Look me in the eyes
5. Flirt
6. Be confident
7. Hug me often
8. Be able to talk about everything whether I agree or not... Just good conversation.

Seven Things That Cross My Mind a Lot:
1. Scott
2. Kathy
3. Baseball
4. School
5. Future
6. Weight
7. Chicago

Six Things I Do Before I Fall Asleep:
1. Text message
2. Set my alarm
3. Take out contacts
4. Brush teeth
5. Watch gilmore girls :-)
6. Fix to do list

Five People Who Mean a Lot:
1. Parents.
2. Sisters
3. Jorie (niece)
4. Kathy
5. Scott

Four Things Iapos;m Wearing Right Now:
1. Green sweater
2. Jeans
3. Chucks
4. Peace sign necklace.

Three Songs I Listen to a Lot: [at the moment]
1. Hammers and Strings - Jackapos;s Mannequin
2. Gotta be somebody - Nickleback
3. Light On - David Cook

Two Things I Want to Do Before I Die:
1. Live a happy life
2. Travel the world

One Confession:
1. I want to change majors.

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